Sunday, October 16, 2011

I BLEED PINK!!!!

Obviously this is "breast cancer awareness" month.  I don't think there is any reason I would be particularly sensitive to it but it is everywhere!  I hear, see and read pink every time I turn around!  I am so grateful for all the work other people and groups have put toward the fight against breast cancer, but I think it is just a little to close to home right now.  Drew wore pink shoelaces and Vance wore pink socks in their games for me this week ♥.  So many people walked  and wore pink for me.  I am so glad they can do it right now because in my heart I support it 100%, but my body is not cooperating right now. So I will just bleed pink in support right now! 
This week has been a little more tolerable than the first time around.  Dr. Wendt made sure I had proper pharmaceuticals to make side effects less intense.  I have never taken so many pills in my life but I will assume they are helping.  My description of chemo is "a never ending tequila and red wine hangover, after running a marathon!"  Actually, I have never run a marathon but think the end result would feel about the same.  I am extremely sore and have frequent waves of nausea.  The hardest part is the fatigue.  I will get a burst of energy, get something done (like picking up dog poop!) and be thoroughly exhausted and even out of breath!  I have a harder time than usual focusing and can't even read a book :(.  I have to say I have not been very productive lately!  (That comes from childhood, when Harley used to tell us "just do something productive!")  I will say that although I feel like shit much of the time I do consider myself to be very fortunate.  I can do nothing and be unproductive without guilt.  I am blessed to be in a situation where I can focus on the "pink" fight without other excessive worries.  My sister is coming from Florida on Thursday for a long weekend.  I am looking forward to her visit and hope I am on the upside of round two.  Either way it will be great to have her here!  Vance is taking driving test on Monday.  Having his license will be very helpful, except then I will just worry about him driving! 
That is all I can think of right now.  I am definitely feeling what they call "chemo brain".   Which  makes a person's brain feel foggy, cloudy and forgetful!   I am sure it is from the chemicals!
Thanks for all the continuing support, help, love and prayers! 
Sara ♥♥♥                                                                                                                                                    

4 comments:

Soulful Living in Suburbia said...

Sara Love the blog you are so good at expressing your thoughts and feelings. you have a great attitude and i am glad for you that you are in a place in life where you can just take care of you!!!! love you sis

Anonymous said...

I bet Stella and Ferries would stop pooping for a while. (If you asked nicely). ;-)
Hang in there,

Love,
Steph

Anonymous said...

I meant Stella and Fergie.

Sandra said...

I have a friend who went through radiation and had another scare last week. All the pink was beginning to get to her, too. She said, "It's everywhere. I can't stop thinking about cancer!" I had a pink ribbon as my profile picture on Facebook, but removed it.

Always thinking of you and I send you my love. ...Sandy