Thursday, August 11, 2011

Clock is Ticking....

I am feeling an incredible amount of anxiety.  Less than five days.  I  saw the plastic surgeon today.  Asked a lot of questions and I feel like I got very honest answers, not just politically correct responses. I told him how I was feeling about decision to do uni or bilateral.  I told him about our happy hour secret vote. He thought that was a very original way to discuss it.  I then told him about some friends we have that are nudist and how they told me some mastectomies they have seen at nudist events look so great when they are finished.  He said now he has a lot more pressure!!  I left office feeling pretty good about process and leaning more toward bilateral (at this moment anyway).  I came home and tried to read about actual surgery and recovery.  Increased anxiety.......  The drains seem to be a really big issue and creepy too.  Some women like to have a fanny pack to wear to keep drain bags in, I don't think so but it would be good for a few laughs!  After surgery and pathology report the actual treatment fro the cancer will be figured out.  Hopefully no surprises and things can stay on planned tract.  It is a funny disease because not only do I worry about the "cancer" part but also the future of body parts.  Some women look at scars as "battle wounds" and are fine with them.  Not me, I am not sure what to think at this point.  It has meant so much to me to have so many calls, texts and emails from such sweet and thoughtful  friends and family! (and special things in the mail!), we don't always realize what support we have out there until we really need it. 
Thank You All So Very Much!!!  ♥♥

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